the darkest hour is just before dawn
must have been thinking about me.
The world is truly, truly dark,
Standing still, I look up at the sky,
see only my own pain and sadness
reflected in the nothingness,
feel only small, alone, meaningless…
My heart yearns for sights, sounds, colors,
There are no crickets chirping, no night birds singing,
just the sound of my own pained heart beating.
And there is nothing to see,
Not even my own hand stretched before me.
The darkness encompasses all,
If it hasn’t swallowed me up yet,
it soon will.
I take a step back and wish I knew how to fight it.
One more pained heartbeat and then,
suddenly, without warning, without me expecting it,
the darkest clouds crack open just a little
and one lone ray of sunlight pushes through,
strong, triumphant, beautiful,
crying that it is here,
that it will always be here,
That it refuses to let the darkness push it down forever.
And even though it is still very, very dark,
the world is no longer threatening,
the darkness is no longer oppressive,
and I know…
I am here, I am me,
I am alive.
As dawn parts the darkest clouds like
Moses parting the waters of the Red Sea,
the brightness of the sun warms my too-cold heart.
I lick my lips, straighten up,
listen for the sounds of a new day,
a new life beginning.
It is my life that’s beginning,
me who is coming out from behind the clouds,
me who will no longer be held down by darkness,
me who wants to live.
And I will fight the darkness forever!